Heretic Sanctuary
Mystic, mystery, Art, magick, opininated rantings, bizarre experiences and other stuff
If you are angry, stamp your feet
My youngest is not speaking to me at the moment  though she is leaving notes .
She wants an apology for some offense she sees as  grievous .   I don't understand  what my actual offense is supposed to have been  and am disinclined to apologize.  She wants an apology that she will decide is enough. I won't play that game.
  Perhaps she will never speak again.

  Arguments and hurt feelings are such strange things .  Some people  collect  them .
My great Grandmother  could recite a huge litany of offenses  by the British against the Scots. Now all these offenses  occurred  centuries before she was born, but she still refused to her dying day to knowingly consume  Campbell's' Soups  because (she said) the Campbells  were traitors to the Scots.
  My first spouse loved to argue  it was  his passion  he'd get all rilled up about something  and sulk and storm for days.   It took me awhile to realize that  he was not actually trying to make a point  or resolve a problem  He just LOVED a fight. My current husband will occasionally blow up  about something   but  usually he's  over it in about 5 minutes. With him it is about an exchange of information, he does not  even want a "win" .

  I had some acquaintances  who complained about their mother for 30 years  they all constantly argued with her or  went through long  periods  of not speaking to each other. They  obsessed about  which child she favored or broken promises or bad hair days .
Their  whole damn lives and all they could talk about  was the "bad" mommy and how they wanted nothing to do with her  though they never refused money and often called on her to bail them out .

 The mother died last year.  the kids  were apparently devastated,  sobbing hysterically at the funeral, trying to throw themselves into the grave  etc. never mind that they had not spoken to her for over a year. Their grief was soon replaced by fury when it turned out that she had  not left them  her money.  One  child cried out   "That bitch has destroyed my last chance for happiness" .   
Here is  a 50 some year old woman who has spent her whole life so far focused on being pissed off at her Mom and who still thinks  other people and their money  have any power over anyone else happiness.  Happiness is a  do  it yourself project . If you want to be happy find out  what makes you happy and do it. 
I'  don't think I have a bad temper. I almost never really lose my temper. I have noticed that whenever I start to get well just a teeny tiny bit irritated  that most folks will back away from me  and seem to presume that I'm about to  tear them to pieces or something.  Apparently its my expression which I've never seen, not have ever lost my temper while looking in a mirror 
2006-02-04 20:17:35 GMT